A Father’s Love

This Father’s Day, it is important to honor and show appreciation for fathers, but also for fathers to understand just how important their love is to their children. A father’s love is especially important to the healthy upbringing of a child. A father’s love will instill confidence, a sense of worth, and acceptance into a child’s heart. A father’s love will give a child permission to freely express himself or herself. If a child knows they are accepted by their father, they will be less likely to seek validation from the world (school, friends, etc.)

It goes without saying that a father’s love does not take away from the importance of a mothers, but I believe the father’s love is more important because he is the leader of the household. Society tends to teach us that men are supposed to be tough and not show emotion or be soft. They aren’t allowed to be affectionate or compassionate, their role is to be the protector and the provider. Men are not supposed to cry and give hugs, but to protect the family, put food on the table and teach sports, etc. But I will tell you that to an adolescent, a father’s embrace is very much needed in their emotional development.

The world has taught us that men are supposed to be macho and show little emotion, so when they do show emotion, there must be good reason. How important is it for a child to know in their heart of hearts that they are loved by their father? When their father hugs them, spends quality time with them, and expresses his love for them, the child feels wanted and cherished because they know that the father had to risk being vulnerable to express his love.

Typically, a mother does not have a problem with showing emotion. For women, it is socially acceptable to cry, hug, and say I love you. To a child, a mother’s love may be seen as normal and obligatory since they gave birth to them. But when the father expresses his love, the child feels extra special. They need that validation.

I believe a mother’s love is more important in the initial stages of development. When a child is out of the womb, nursing, and still in the beginning stages of life, this love is most crucial up to the point of the emergence of the personality. When the child starts to show signs of their identity and independence, the mother’s love becomes secondary to the father’s.

Even in non-religious households the father tends to be the head of the household. The child recognizes the father’s authority and tends to place more value on the father’s opinion. In a Christian household, the father’s example will be the frame of reference the child has when imagining their Heavenly Father.

How we see our earthy fathers will be a strong indicator of how we see God. If our earthly father is abusive, distant, not a good provider, doesn’t show affection, and unforgiving, then we will think our Heavenly Father is like that as well. On this Father’s Day, I pray that all the fathers know just how important they are.  Take this day to make sure your children know just how much you love and adore them.

God is our Abba (Father), it is important our earthly fathers love, accept, and express love as much as possible.